To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I
observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised
the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk
to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had
happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer, she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love
her anymore..I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten
years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said
for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which
was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of
release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed
to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something
at the table. I did'nt have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I
woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I
turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life
as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months
time and she did'nt want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She
requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our
bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just
to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face
the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I
nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went
to wait for the bus to work.I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't
looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not
young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had
done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On
the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing
again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the
month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses
have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was
the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she
had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I
reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential
part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind
at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding
day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want
the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. Do you have a
fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't
divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't
value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any
more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding
day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to
suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and
burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
"I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart."
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank,
blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but
cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's
friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do
have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you
just might save a marriage.
Author unknown -
Home 
15th May 2008, 4:39 pm
naiyak ako.. natulo ang luha ko....
