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 Joke Time!!!

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xiaozhinzhu
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th August 2008, 4:26 pm

Pupil: Ang pangarap ko po ay kumita ng twenty thousand dollars a month. Kagaya ng tatay ko.


Teacher: Wow! Ang laki pala ng suweldo ng tatay mo.


Student: Hindi po. Pangarap po niya yon.
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xiaozhinzhu
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th August 2008, 4:27 pm

CUSTOMER: Miss, 'sang kape nga.


WAITRESS: Sir, 8 pesos na po ang kape namin.


CUSTOMER: Ay, bakit naman?


WAITRESS: Kasi po, mahal na ang gasolina.


CUSTOMER: E. di huwag mo na lang lagyan ng gasolina ang kape ko.
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xiaozhinzhu
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th August 2008, 4:29 pm


A kid ask her pregnant mom,

KID:Ano ns tyan muh?

MOM:kaptid muh!!

KID: Luv mo b xa?

MOM:oo nmn!!

KID: weeeeh....adik k pla eh!! bt mo kinaen?!!!
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xiaozhinzhu
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Registration date : 2008-02-21

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th August 2008, 4:36 pm

VET: Sori po patay na aso niyo, pinaliguan kasi ng anak niyo na gamit laundry soap.

MOTHER: E ano naman ang masama sa sabong panlaba?

VET: Di siya sa sabon namatay kundi sa washing machine.
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xiaozhinzhu
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Registration date : 2008-02-21

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th August 2008, 4:37 pm


Ooohh! Ahhh! Hmmmpp! Sige, sarap!

Tuloy lang! Sakit, ang tigas! Ayan na! Aray!

Ang hapdi! Ayan na. Ayan na! Lalabas na! Ooooohhhh!






Ang sarap talagang umebak!
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xiaozhinzhu
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Registration date : 2008-02-21

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th August 2008, 4:39 pm


Manny: Pare pag uwi ko may Driver na gwapo kinuha misis ko.
Mike : hay nku pare nag seselos ka naman. Natural lng yun
Manny: Pare hindi natural yun e
Mike : ha? bakit hindi natural
Manny: pare wla naman kaming sasakyan.
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sweet_otaka
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Club : night club... wahahaha....
Hobbies : surfing d' net, chika ever, & playing pc games, psp & ipod. wat ever!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   11th August 2008, 12:27 pm

hay naku sis xiao..

panalo ka sa mga jowk...

hay naku wlang magawa todo na to!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   11th August 2008, 1:41 pm

hurray
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abbec
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   16th October 2008, 1:59 pm

Yeah

oh bakit ka na yeah

wala.. trip ko lang
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karlatot
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   16th October 2008, 6:14 pm

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renzcky
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   16th October 2008, 8:36 pm

grouphug
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karlatot
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   16th October 2008, 10:27 pm

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renzcky
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   17th October 2008, 10:31 am

morning..
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abbec
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   31st October 2008, 9:29 am

Sinong dating beauty queen ang hinde nagpapasuso?

Sino?

Si MELAMINE Marquez....

CORNY!!!!!!!
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renzcky
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   1st November 2008, 10:42 am

^.^
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xiaozhinzhu
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   12th November 2008, 9:09 pm

Q: ano ang ayaw ni godilocks na ilagay sa kanyang buhok?

A: edi., RED RIBBON!! jeje..
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xiaozhinzhu
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Hobbies : maglaro,mag-alaga ng babies,kumain,manood at matulog
Registration date : 2008-02-21

PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   12th November 2008, 9:10 pm

during exam...

teacher: bkit puro REDHORSE ang sagot moh?!

estudyante: mam, di nio ba alam?? ITO ANG TAMA!
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abbec
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   14th November 2008, 9:54 am

xiaozhinzhu wrote:
Q: ano ang ayaw ni godilocks na ilagay sa kanyang buhok?

A: edi., RED RIBBON!! jeje..



GODILOCKS? BAKA GOLDILOCKS...
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abbec
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th December 2008, 3:03 pm

Ang Disyembre ko ay malungkot











Pagkat PATAY ka na











Ano mang pili kong magsaya











PATAY KA NA NOONG CHRISTMAS
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th December 2008, 4:15 pm

haay..yeah left..
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abbec
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   15th January 2009, 3:13 pm

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'
And 'illegal'?" Only one hand raise up.
"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is
A sick eagle."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"

"They are all below 'C' level"
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   15th January 2009, 3:44 pm

ahaha...well bgo sa pandinig ko ung mga jokes na yn..funny nrn...
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:09 pm

CLASS PICTURE

TEACHER: magpapa-class picture tayo para paglaki niyo, sasabihin niyo, "wow si Dodong, police na, wow si inday, nurse na."
JUAN: "at wow si mam, patay na"
TEACHER: umupo ka! @nimal ka! wag kang sasali-sali sa amin.
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:10 pm

FISH

TEACHER: ok class, draw kayo ng kahit na anong uri ng fish.
STUDENTS: yes mam!
TEACHER: Pedro, bakit naman ang gulo ng drawing mo?
PEDRO: 'wag ka ngang epal mam... bagoong yan! ang SLOW!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:10 pm

JAPAYUKI

Ung dalagang kapitbhay namin gusto mag-work sa Japan.
Pinahiram ko na nga ng pera, ako pa sinampal!
Sinabi ko lang naman:
"ibalik mo sakin yan pag maluwag k na ha?"
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:10 pm

Nino: Bakit moko sinuntok?
Alvin: Tinawag mo akong hippopotamus!
Nino: Last year pa yun t@rant@do!
Alvin: E kanina ko lang nakita istura ng hippopotamus eh!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:11 pm

ANAK: nay, bili mo ako baril. barilin ko si kuya.
NANAY: anak, bad yan!

ANAK: edi espada na lang para saksakin ko si tatay.
NANAY: naku anak! ung di makakasakit ng tao.

ANAK: manika na lang pala, 'nay.
NANAY: good! yan ang mabait na bata.

ANAK: samahan mo na ng karayon para kulamin kita ha, 'nay!

***
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:12 pm

bata: manong pabili po ng ubas.
tindero: wala kami nun.

- kinabukasan -

bata: manong pabili po ng ubas.
tindero: iho, wala kaming ubas.

- kinabukasan -

bata: manong pabili nga po ng ubas.
tindero: wala nga kaming ubas. nung isang araw ka pa ha! bukas pag naghanap ka ulit ng ubas dito i-stapler ko na yang bibig mo!

- kinabukasan -

bata: manong may stapler ho kayo?
tindero: wala.
bata: pabili nga po ng ubas.
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:12 pm

Doc: May taning na ang buhay mo...
Patient: Talaga doc? Hanangang kailan nalang ako mabubuhay?
Doc: Ten...
Patient: Ten Years?, Ten Months, Ten Days?
Doc: Nine... Eight... Seven... Six... Five... Four…
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:13 pm

Mr: (kissing wife's shoulder) Hon, sige na
Mrs: (naiirita) Bumabagyo!
Mr: Ayaw mo nun malamig? Sige na.
Mrs: T@nga! Di ka na nahiya! Ang daming tao dito sa evacuation center!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:13 pm

(Sa sabungan walang entrance fee and may dalang panabong..si Juan para malakibre, pumasok ng may dalang inahin.)

Bantay: (sinita si Juan) Ano yan?!
Juan: (galit pa) Manok!
Bantay: Alam ko, e bakit inahin??
Juan: May fight ang anak nya..syempre MORAL SUPPORT!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:14 pm

DAD: Anak! bakit gabi ka na naman umuwi! Anong oras na!? Di na tama yang ginagawa mo!
ANAK: Dad naman...Nag- group study lang kami! Exam po namin bukas!
DAD: Group study ka dyan! Eh Kinder ka pa lang! Sipain kita dyan eh!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:14 pm

Pare1: Pre, pautang naman muna ng 5kg bigas at 3 sardinas. Bayaran ko kagad pagdating ni misis galing US.
Pare2: Sige ba, eto oh. Kelan ba uwi ni Mare?
Pare1: Nag-aaply pa lang, pero malaki daw pag-asa!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:15 pm

Lalaki: sigurado ka ba na ako ang ama ng pinagbubuntis mo?
Babae: Oo naman! Tatlo na kasi ang tinanong ko di raw sila, eh ikaw na lang natitira kaya sure na ako na ikaw ang ama!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:16 pm

Sa swimming pool:

Boy1: waaaah! tulong! tulong!
hindi ako marunong lumangoy!!!
Boy2: eh ano naman?!
Ako nga di marunong magviolin, sinisigaw ko ba?!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:18 pm

Pedro: Pare pinapili ako ng misis ko, pag-ibig daw o kaibigan?
Jaun: So kaya ka andito nagyon dahil pinili mo kaibigan?
Pedro: Hindi pare, Pag-ibig pinili ko...



baklaan itetch..haha
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:20 pm

sa madilim at maruming eskinita, may nire-rape...

babae: tulong! tulong!
rapist: wag ka na humingi ng tulong kaya ko itong mag-isa...at gusto mo pa ng marami ah! MALANDI KA!
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cheechai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:20 pm

dami mo baon ha....

Pres. Obama finally calls up Malacañang.

Obama: Hello!cud i speak up to that tiny filipina who is
the idol of her country?
GMA (excited): Speaking.
Obama: Charice! can u sing in the white house for the
diplomatic corps?
GMA: Im sorry Mr. Pres. but this is Pres. Arroyo, How
can i be of help?
Obama: Wrong Number!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:21 pm

ANAK: Nay, ok ang titser ko.
NAY: bakit naman?
ANAK: tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal.
NAY: e di marunong ka ng gumalang at magpo?

ANAK: natural.. tanga ka ba?
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:23 pm

ahaha..eto nmn ang kakaririn ko..hehe..sawa na ko sa lets count to million eh...wahaha
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:24 pm

ANAK: "Nay' san po ba ang MAYON?"
INAY (busy): "Ewan ko anak. Tanong mo sa tatay mo...sya nagwalis kanina e.."
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cheechai
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:24 pm

ahahaha....sige, maghahanap na rin ako ng mga jokes!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:24 pm

Pag nagalit mama mo,
kasi late ka na umuwi...

Wag ka matakot.
Unahan mo:
"Bakit ngayon lang ako umuwi?
San ako nanggaling?"

Sabay kuha ng bag at damit saka mo isigaw...

"Punyetang bata ako!
Hala sige lumayas ako!!"
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:25 pm

Filipino Class:

guro: juan, magbigay ng pangungusap na may tayutay...
juan: ahem... "ang tatay ay nadapa...tayu tay! tayuuu tay!

***
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:27 pm

Anak: Nay, me regla na po ako. Pahingi po ng napkin nyo.

Nanay: Cge, magnapkin ka para TAGAIN KO YANG **YAG MO NG DUGUIN KA NG TULUYAN ANIMA* KANG BRANDO KA!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:28 pm

BOY: Mommy, batit ato buyoy?
MOM: Kasi di ka pa circumcized.
BOY: Ate, batit ato buyoy?
ATE: kasi di ka pa tuli.
BOY: Dadi, batit ato buyoy?
DAD: Kati anak, di ka pa tuyi!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:30 pm

Sulat ng anak sa kanyang mgulang:

Dear Tatay and Nanay,
Bakit ny
o binenta ang kalabaw e akin naman un?
Galit talaga ako! Mula ngaun, di nyo na ako anak!



Your friend,
Boyet
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:31 pm

ano sinabi ng baby centipede sa mother centipede na ikinahimatay ng mom?
--pwede pabili rubbershoes?

ano nman sinagot ng mother centipede sa baby niya na ikinahimatay ng baby?

--sipain kita dyan e!

ano naman ang sinabi ng lalaking centipede sa babaeng centipede?
--wow legs! wow legs! wow legs! wow legs! wow legs! wow legs! wow legs! wow legs! …
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:32 pm

Mga simpleng pangarap:
1. Ako, gusto kong maging nurse para makatulong sa kapwa.
2. Ako naman, doktor para makagamot ako ng kapwa.
3. Ako superhero para makasagip ng inaaping kapwa.
4. Ako mayor kasi tutulungan ko kapwa ko.
5. Ako presidente maglilingkod ako sa kapwa.
6. Ganun ba? Ako, gusto ko na lang maging...

KAPWA... para tiba-tiba!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   10th February 2009, 4:32 pm

Baldo: Pre, lagyan mo nga ako ng tattoo.
Jun: Bakit?
Baldo: Madalas kasi akong mapagkamalan na bading!
Jun: Sige, san kita lalagyan ng tattoo?
Baldo: Sa kilay nalang para mataray!
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Time!!!   Today at 2:05 pm

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Joke Time!!!
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