I was grasping for air. I could not breathe. We were drowning! And my papa is with me. I cried for help, reaching for his hands but whenever I try to reach him it seems that the waves tries to bring him away from me. I am feeling helpless that time but when I saw a piece of wood enough to make me float, I felt relieved that I can save my self but saving for another life, my papa’s life could only mean a doom for both of us, but heard him calling my name, he wave his hands and said, “ goodbye my dear daughter “ for a single moment I asked him, “papa where are you going?” but before I could let my self hear his answer, I woke up it was just a bad dream.
It was only two thirty in the morning, so I decided to go back to sleep but when I was about to close my eyes the phone rang, well it was not an unusual thing to happen but I don’t why I was scared to pick it up and find out who’s calling, then I decided to answer the phone since I was the only one who’s awake that time, at my surprise it was my brother’s voice on the other line, a long distance call from Cagayan valley so I thought that it must be very important.
He asked “ ate when will be your final exam?” but instead of answering him, I said “ we’ll be there tomorrow with papa and mama “ because we’re planning to go to my grandfather’s funeral the following day.
“ Ate I’m asking you if when will be your final exam?” he repeated his question “ don’t worry it will be on the third week of October so I won’t be missing any of my exams “ I answered. “ You have to go home to Bulacan” he demanded with a shaky voice “why? “, “is there something wrong? “ I asked having no idea of what might happened to my papa, then suddenly I heard my aunt’s voice saying “ huwag kang mabibigla, kasi si papa mo wala na “ after hearing those words I felt like loosing my mind to the fullest I can’t even got hold with the tears starting to flow on my cheeks. I put down the phone with out saying any words, I don’t know what to do, I want to shout and convince my self that it was not true that I am still dreaming but the phone rang again and that time it was my aunts’ voice from Bulacan “ why “ I asked immediately, I can’t hide the pain in my voice “ you have to calm down “ she said “ come here with your friends don’t go with out them, we’ll explain what happened when you got here “. A called up Cyndy my best friend the only person I know willing to accompany me during those times of my life, I told her that my papa was gone and with out any questions she came all the way from muñoz, the moment we saw each other she embraced me, we both cried, then we decided to go with one of my friends Romina. We rode a taxi all the way to Bulacan. While we were on our way I’m still silently hoping that it was not true that I could still see my papa breathing and smiling at me but when the taxi stop I saw a piece of black cloth hanging on a tree near our home indicating that there is a person died near that place, I lost all the hope I had in mind so I ran and find the nearest way to my house, I saw lights, many lights around a coffin, when I was about to reach it, they grabbed me, and tried to explain what happened “ I don’t want to hear anything, I don’t need those words” I said, I know I’m not just talking I’m shouting already.
I saw my papa’s face it was peaceful. The face I saw four days ago when he visited me in our house it was only an hour after two long years and I had no idea that, that would be the last. I could still recall the words he told me before he leave that afternoon of September 21 2000 “ iha the world will not stop changing but I don’t want you to go on with the flow I wanted you to be guided by words of God all the time in everything that you do. Always remember that I love you, we may not see each other as often as we want but bear in mind that you’re my only daughter and no one can replace you.” I just smiled at him.
Now I’m standing in front of him I’m happy he’s here but I know he’s gone , the man I admire, respect, look up to and love. If only he could still hear me I would say I love you papa and thank you for all the things that you’ve given me.