This is a very good article. Read it. Those who are still single may learn something from
here....Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve Your marriage...
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
"How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man
sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness,
she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are
good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love. With your spouse.
You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling
in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous
experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...
Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet."
Think about the imagery of that ____expression. It implies that you were just standing there;
doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling is love is easy.
It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of
EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),
touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of
being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but
if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial
stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin
to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame
their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive
substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies
within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY yoPOST
https://tambalanonline.niceboard.com/posting.forum HTTP/1.1u'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE
THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll
NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to make" it day in and
day out. That's why we have the ____expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time,
effort, and energy, And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to
make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do
(with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical
laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the
right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know
and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love work.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.
Home 
11th March 2008, 4:12 pm
