Joke Time!!!

Guest

itechewa wrote:: BANTAY ..

Old Chinese in death bed:
"Akyen junior 'ndyan ba?"
"Dito po!"
"Akyen panganay 'ndyan ba?"
"Dito po!"
"Akyen daughter 'ndyan ba?"
"Dito po!"
"Akyen asawa 'ndyan ba?"
"Dito din po!"
"Walahiya! Dito kayo lahat! Wala tao tindahan!"

NASA AUCTION NA YANG JOKE NA YAN!!!!!!

Guest

One day, Mr. Sanchez went to the agency he apply for a job because the Agency's Personnel Officer wants to verify his Personal Data Sheets he fill up.

P.O. : Ah. Mr. Sanchez come in....sit down, i want to ask you something about your PDS you fill up..

Sanchez: OK..

P.O.: i just review your PDS, and i am puzzled about the section SEX. you check F insted of M.

Sanchez: what are those letters stand for?

P.O. : well F means Female and M means Male

Sanchez: OH i see.

P.O. : Im curious, what is F stand to you.

Sanchez:

Spoiler:

P.O. : then what is M stand to you?

Sanchez:

Spoiler:

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 2nd November 2007, 3:43 pm

Gary LIsing: If there is a star on the left
And there is a star in the right,
What do you call the star in the middle??

A: bituween!!!

seesaw

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 2nd November 2007, 4:47 pm

Isang bata ang nagtanong sa kanyang tatay habang sila ay nasa store kung saan ginagamit ang condom na nakita niya sa store shelf. Binigyan naman ng tatay ng explanation ang anak tungkol sa condom. At nagtanong uli ang bata kung bakit may two-pack, three-pack, six-pack at twelve-pack na condoms na ibinebenta sa tindahan. Ganito and paliwanag ng ama sa anak...yung two-pack ay para sa high school kids, kasi kapag Saturday at Sunday lang sila nakakapag-date. Yung three-pack naman ay para sa college kids na afford mag-date ng Friday, Saturday at Sunday. Yung six-pack ay para sa bagong mag-asawa na ang pahinga ay Sunday lang. At yung twelve-pack ay para sa matagal ng mag-asawa...isa para sa January, isa sa February, isa sa March hanggang December.......

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 2nd November 2007, 5:14 pm

Remigio Batungbacal - Remington Steel
Bienvenido Jurado - Ben Hur
Federico Hagibis - Federal Express
Eleoterio Ignacio - Electronic Ignition
Casimiro Bukaykay - Cashmir Bouquet
Rogelio Dagdag - Roger Moore
Topacio Mamaril - Top Gun
Restituto Pruto - Tutti Frutti
Samuel Tampipi - Sam Sonite
Veneracion De Asis - Venereal Disease
Francisco Portero - Frank Furter
Diosdado Durante - Deo Dorant

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 2nd November 2007, 5:20 pm

AIZA - IQ - 135 Promil user till Age 5
RYAN - IQ - 140 Promil user till age 7
JINGGOY - IQ - UNSTABLE - Promil overdose
ERAP - LOW IQ - Promil user until now. Still no progress.

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 7th November 2007, 8:48 pm

Please Add me to your friendster and be friends...

crystal_ni_lola@yahoo.com

Joke Time!!! - Page 4 Tinksayhi

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 9th November 2007, 9:58 am

CHINESE TO A CHINESE SHOULD NEVER COMMUNICATE
IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE..

Chinese speaking to a Chinese telephone operator:

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone!
But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe
Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured
and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now,
Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital from the accident that is not an urgent matter!
You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I am Saw Lee.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name. lol!

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 9th November 2007, 10:13 am

old stuffs.. refuse

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 9th November 2007, 10:18 am

wala lng, pandagdag lng sa kakornihan:

BATA: pbili nga po ng ubas
TINDERO: wala kmi ubas

kinabukasan...

BATA: pbili nga po ng ubas
TINDERO: wala kmi ubas

kinabukasan...

BATA: pbili nga po ng ubas
TINDERO: wala kmi ubas!! isa pang tanong iistapler ko bibig mo!

kinabukasan...

BATA: my stapler kayo?
TINDERO: wala
BATA: pabili nga po ng ubas. Very Happy

----------------------------------
"He hu laugh last, thinks slowest..."

Guest

BATA: Ale, may toyo kayo?

TINDERA: INIINSULTO MO BA KO?

BATA: Hinde ah, tinatanong ko lang kung may toyo kayo

TINDERA: Ayan ka nanaman eh. iniinsulto mo na talaga ako....

BATA: Hinde ko po kayo iniinsulto... may toyo ba kayo?

TINDERA: Hay naku, mabuti pa sa ibang tindahan ka na magtanong nyan kung may toyo sila.

BATA: eh 3 tindahan na tinanong ko nyan sabi nila, ininisuto ko daw sila...

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 10th November 2007, 11:44 pm

corny

Guest

yeah left

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 12th November 2007, 3:58 pm

Nakasakay ako ng bus khpOn sa side ko my ba2e at la2ki,lam nyo b ung la2ki nagdede sa taas ng girl...d nahi2ya ung girl,proud n proud pa cya kc nung tumingin skin ngumiti pa....cguro kc ms bata s knya ung boy..ung girl cguro tantiya ko mga 30 plus...samantalang ung boy.......

tantiya ko 8months lng...wahahaha

corny po b?

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 12th November 2007, 9:18 pm

ok lang..... Shocked

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 12th November 2007, 9:29 pm

ang original nyan jeep eh

gnawa lng bus..

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 12th November 2007, 9:31 pm

ganun alam na pla.......

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 12th November 2007, 9:32 pm

uu! sikat yan joke n yan dti

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 12th November 2007, 9:33 pm

gnun inde naman nakarating sa lugar namin......

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 12th November 2007, 9:36 pm

ahhh....

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 12th November 2007, 9:38 pm

joke lang xmpre naun nakanating na anu ka ba....

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 12th November 2007, 9:39 pm

andaming corning joke naman...

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 13th November 2007, 11:17 am

un nga ung nkakatawa dun eh.. ^.^

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 14th November 2007, 6:35 am

Tama ka jan renzcky

Guest

RIC: May isang puno.. anung bunga?

ROY: Imposible

RIC: Bakit naman imposible?

ROY: Kelan pa naging PUNO ang halamang MAIS?

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 16th November 2007, 9:24 pm

MAIS!!!!!!!

hahaha.....

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 17th November 2007, 8:28 am

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 17th November 2007, 10:57 am

nakakatawa nuh????!!..... hehehe...

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 17th November 2007, 11:10 am

...nakakatuwa talaga... lol!

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 17th November 2007, 5:09 pm

ahehehe... magsaya tau!!! massbounce

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 17th November 2007, 8:41 pm

..yes...

Guest

FISH JOKE

what FISH that you can drink?

Spoiler:

What FISH that can write?

Spoiler:

Where can you find a working FISH?

Spoiler:

What do you call a FISH that can bounce?

Spoiler:

What do you call a cheapest FISH?

Spoiler:

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 28th November 2007, 7:10 am

Forever Young

Mrs: Naniniwala ka ba na ang babae habang tumatanda ay gumaganda?

Mr: Oo naman.

Mrs: Sa tingin mo, gumaganda ba ako?

Mr: Sa tingin ko, hindi ka tumatanda.

From Balita newspaper

Guest

Motto:

Boxer: it is better to give than to receive....

Ninong/Ninang: it is better to receive than to give.....

Guest

The Mother and Three Sons

Three sons left home, started careers and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give their elderly mother for her seventieth birthday. The first said, "I built a big house for Mom. "The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver. "The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for 10 years, but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out letters of thanks: She wrote to the first son, " Milton , the house you built is not practical. I live in only one room, but I have to heat, cool, and clean the whole house." She wrote to the second son, "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" She wrote the third son, "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
....wehhehehe bounce

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 1st February 2008, 2:14 pm

JOke by Tonio:

Sa tindahan ng bulakak... may lumapit na ngongo...

MANAGER: Ano pong bulaklak ang gusto nyo?

NGONGO: Hhuungiii!

MANAGER: Ah.. Tulips!

NGONGO: hne... Hhuungi!

MANAGER: uhmm... Roses?

NGONGO: hne... Hhuungiiii!

MANAGER: Uhmmmm.... Sun flower?

NGONGO: hne!.... Hhuuungiiii!

MANAGER: hindi kita maintindihan... alam ko na!
may janitor akong ngongo... baka maintindihan ka nya!

(tinawag ng manager ang janitor)

MANAGER: Halika, pakinggan mo nga sya tapos sabihin mo sakin kung anong binibili nya...

(nagtanong uli ang manager...)

MANAGER: Ano pong bulaklak ang bibilin nyo?

NGONGO: Hhuuungiiiii!

MANAGER: Oh... alam mo na kung ano?

(tumango ang janitor)

MANAGER: Ano daw?

JANITOR: Hhuuungiiiii!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------

dito tlga ko natawa!! bounce

promis!!!

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 1st March 2008, 10:05 pm

...ngit teo...lakihan mo!!!!!

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 2nd March 2008, 3:00 pm

...aztig!!!

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 2nd March 2008, 3:11 pm

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 2nd March 2008, 4:05 pm

hello....

musta na kau??? Question

kau ba ay mahaba ang Sleep

? prng ako ay isang queen

at sino naman kya ang king

? kanina nag3p ako nag seesaw

ko dyan sa may kanto namin... tpos may nagbigay ng flower

skin.... tuloy nag blush

me. pero i'm Very Happy

kya naman... ako ay nag dance

kc naman... goodboy

sya. mya mya ako ay hungry

kya naman... pumunta me sa party

. tpos... nag run

na ko... jejeje... pagbalik ko sa may kanto may mga umiinom ayan tuloy napa chug1

me ang aga aga pa naman... hik!

. yung 2 sa kanila nag argue

kya ako naman alam nyo na isang angel

pinagbati ko sila.sabi ko mag Basketball

nlng sila pra matpos na o kya aerobic

pra mas mgnda. pag uwi naman. si inay pinag sampay

pa ko... naku naman... scratch

sabi ko mag study

nlng nga me pra makaligtas. hehehe... Smile

pag akyat ko kinunan ko ng

ni insan tpos... kiss

pa ko. bkit kya? :funny2:tlga yun. hay naku ayoko na nga mag rest

na me at ako'y alone

na.

Guest

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 15th March 2008, 6:35 pm

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 18th March 2008, 6:59 pm

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 18th March 2008, 8:21 pm

Animal Orgasm
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry.

He looks up from the page and says to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?"

She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? Prove it."

He frowns for a moment, then says, "Okay." He gets up and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.

About an hour later, he returns all tired and sweaty and proclaims, "Well I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way that pig keeps squealing, I can't tell."

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 18th March 2008, 8:29 pm

Driver

Manny: Pare pag uwi ko may Driver na gwapo kinuha misis ko.
Mike : hay nku pare nag seselos ka naman. Natural lng yun
Manny: Pare hindi natural yun e
Mike : ha? bakit hindi natural
Manny: pare wla naman kaming sasakyan.

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 18th March 2008, 8:33 pm

Pedro: Miss pabili nga ng ballpen.

Miss: Sir, wala po kaming ballpen.

(Inis na umalis si Pedro!)

Pedro: My God! Penshoppe walang ballpen!

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 18th March 2008, 8:39 pm

Erap's Prayer
Gambling father
who art in jueteng
hakot be thy name
thy kickback come
thy wealth be done,
in Wack-Wack as it is in San Juan .
Give me this day
My daily bribe
And conceal all my sins
As I conceal those who sin along with me
And if I am Led into temptation
Deliver me from! criticism
For mine is the country,
its power, and its money
forever and ever. Amen.

Response:
Aba Ginoong Estrada
Napupuno ka ng kwarta
Ang panginoon ng jueteng ay sumasaiyo
Bukod kang pinagpala sa lahat ng bobo
At pinagpala ka naman ng kay raming
kulasisi mo.

Erap's Mi ultimo Adios
Mi parte de jueteng wala na.
Mis compadres y lords nabuking na.
Los mansiones de mis
queridas ini-imbistiga
Mis amigos de la Camara el
ultimo pagasa.

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 18th March 2008, 8:41 pm

To GMA: A Prayer

ABA naman GLORIA
Puno ka na ng GRASYA
Ang YAMAN ng BANSA
Ay sumaiyo na!
Sa husay Ni GARCI
Naging PEKENG PANGULO ka.
Bukod kang MANDARAYA
Sa babaeng lahat
At PINAGPALA rin MANGURAKOT
Asawa mo't anak.
Kaya wala ng natira sa
A M E N .

Subject: Re: Joke Time!!! 18th March 2008, 8:49 pm

ATTY: Inday! pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape
sayo?
INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...
SUSPEK: cge!!!!...mangasar ka pa!!!!

Guest

Knock Knock
Who's there
Akoymaba
Akoymaba who?
MALIGO KA NA!!!!!

» "First Time"
» I Feel (______) the First Time I (_______________)
» new time slot for tambalan
» 3 words TUGTUNGAN TIME!!!
» remember the 1st time narinig u cla?

Joke Time!!!

Driver Manny: Pare pag uwi ko may Driver na gwapo kinuha misis ko.Mike : hay nku pare nag seselos ka naman. Natural lng yunManny: Pare hindi natural yun e Mike : ha? bakit hindi naturalManny: pare wla naman kaming sasakyan.

Driver

Manny: Pare pag uwi ko may Driver na gwapo kinuha misis ko.
Mike : hay nku pare nag seselos ka naman. Natural lng yun
Manny: Pare hindi natural yun e
Mike : ha? bakit hindi natural
Manny: pare wla naman kaming sasakyan.