Joke Time!!!

happy EASTER

iTmYle Po kayu.. TingNAn nyo lng 2ng pic na ITecthiwa

paya mataya tayu ngayung Easter sunday

nkaka antok basahin

korek !!!!!

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks Into a pharmacy And wanders Up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him And asks him If she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for A box of tampons For his wife.
She directs him down The correct Aisle.


A few minutes later, He deposits A huge bag Of cotton Balls and
A ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, ' Sir,
I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, ' You See, it's Like this, Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store To get me a carton Of cigarettes, and She came back
With a tin of tobacco And some rolling Papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo Much cheaper. So, I figure If I have To roll my own ..........
So does she.

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?



Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

3 BABIES wer playing in d crib

wen suddenly baby girl cried....
"RAPE!!!!!"
BABY BOY said: " haller?! malandi ka!"
inupuan mo lang yang tsupon mo!"


"AMBISYOSA!"

Sintomas ng mga Sobra Adik sa Chat
1. pasmado ang kamay
2. ulcer
3. lumulobong eyebags
4. warak na warak na bladder
5. tumatawa kahit walang tao
6. nagsasalita kahit walang tao
7. kinikilig habang tumitipa sa keyboard
8. nagkwekwento na gumagalaw ang daliri kahit walang keyboard
9. delingkwente sa trabaho at eskwela
10. lumiligaya ng sekswal kahit hindi nahihipo (psst... mga nagsa-cyber diyan..lol.)
11. kapag naiinis..parang gusto mag .(dot) kill
12. Walang kaibigan na me pangalang normal...
13. Hindi na kilala ng pamilya...
14. nanginginig kapag nalalayo sa computer
15. madalas manigas ang daliri
16. Inaatake ng kung anu-anong sakit kapag nasisira ang modem/down ang ISP
17. Kapag nakakarinig ng paulit ulit na nagsasalita na tao ang isinisigaw eh "stop flooding"
18. Ayaw ng maglunch pag nakaumpisang magchat
19. Overstay sa office instead of overtime.
20. ASL pa rin ang tanong pag nakikipagkilala in person.
21. BRB pa rin ang sinasabi sa teacher o sa Boss kung pupunta sa CR..
22. When they greet someone, they say, "Hello Everybuddy!!!
23. Before leaving, they say "5...4...3...2...1... Bye Everybuddy!!!
24. When they see a girl, or someone who looks like one, they'll say Muaaaahhhh!!!"
25. Living out their fantasies in the chat room, like kissing a girl or someone who looks like a girl, or someone pretending to be a girl…..can't do that in reality kaya sa chat room na lang.
26. Their typing speed is 100 words per minute.
27. Laughs like this, "Bwahahahahah!"........Hak Hak Hak "
30. Always gives a fake age and sex
31. Pag natutulog at nagising, unang dinig "Welcome or You got mail" ...Lol
32. Laging mataas ang Phone Bill, kahit nasa Africa tinatawagan.
33. Kahit nasaan, `pag may nakitang Comp. IRC agad ang nasa isip.
34. May blackbook na dala , pero puro screen name ang nakasulat instead real name.
35. Puro punters and tosser pinag uusapan, wala ng iba sa personal.
36. pag may nakilala kahit hindi onliners tanong agad "Chatter ka?"
37. Puro onliners ang GF o BF, ayaw ng nde onliner.
38. Laging nasa gimik ng IRC at kilala ang mga members.
39. Wall paper sa kwarto puro pic ng mga onliners. Lol
40. Laging nag-iisip kung anong nick name ang next na gagamitin.
41. Minumura si chanserv at nickserv kapag "currently down"..(nde kasi nila makukuha ang OP status nila!!)

Bata:Manong, Ano po ba capital ng Pilipinas?
Manong:Alam Mo walang capital ang Pilipinas.
Bata:Bakit po?
Manong:Kasi puro utang....

SCIENTIFIC NAMES:
CUTE - ahkoyan.
TALENTED - ahkophayan.
ROMANTIC - akhopharyn-yan.
LOVABLE - akhoulityan.
ABNORMAL - ahikawnahyahn!

DOC : u look terribly weak & exhausted! Are u having ur meals 3 times a day as i advised?

LADY: Mah GOSSSSH! Doc i thought u said 3 males a day...